“Hello gorguos”.
So started my latest fascination with the words that work (and those that seriously don’t) when we’re trying to appeal to a certain audience online.
Tinder, being the world’s most popular mobile dating app, has all sorts.
And that means an insane variety of writing, expression, and… er, vocabulary.
Granted, the men of Tinder are not my usual audience
And by the looks of some of the candidates, nor am I theirs.
Did they teach me a thing or two nonetheless?
Hells yes. As every dodgy dating story does.
I’ve written before on what I’ve learned about writing from the world of online dating. And so popular a subject it was, that I’ve decided to share some insights from more of my online exploits.
This time though, I’m not interested in lengthy dating profiles and what they betray. It’s time to dive into the conversational, the catchy, and the downright clever ways of attracting attention online. And how you can apply the lessons in your own copywriting.
Lesson #1: Some people are ‘better in writing’
What happened on Tinder:
You know the kind. He says the right things. He makes the right moves. He sets up the right date. Then you show up and… oh darn. You have to spend the next one-and-three-quarter drinks figuring out your exit plan.
It wasn’t meant to be that way. He was so much better in writing. He seemed pretty interesting in text format. Funny even. What went wrong? Why didn’t he deliver the goods he was promoting? Where is this charming articulate guy you’ve been texting?
What it means for web writing:
While this proves the power of writing well, it can also be a problem. We are writing more, not less, and conducting more of our lives online.
You have to be able to put yourself across accurately on the page
You need it to actually match who you are. You gotta write the right product description. (Yeah, sorry guys, but that’s what your dating profile is.)
And the reason for this is to attract the right audience to your offer.
Take that to the online entrepreneur level and you need to make sure you have a handle on portraying your personality through your words.
And that means defining your brand. Then being fully and openly you in words, style, and expression.
(And by the way, if that means exclamation points, you can use as many as you damn well choose!! I hereby give you permission.)
Lesson #2: Language is a bigger turn-on for some of us than others
What happened on Tinder:
Hmm, he looks good, you think as you give the guy an onward ticket to text you. Bingo! A message pops up straight away. He’s interested. But the immediate thrill fades fast as you instantly know he’s a no-go. Bad luck. You shoulda swiped left.
Say what? You didn’t even give the guy a chance… No matter. Someone sending a message with words that make you squirm is game over.
Maybe you recognise this. Maybe you don’t.
But this is totally me.
Harsh, I know, to judge a guy on an opening line. But it’s brutal out there.
In my defence, I’m really tuned into language. So writing something that doesn’t do it for me is online app halitosis. Completely and utterly not going there, no matter what other boxes you tick, baby.
What it means for web writing:
The fact that some people are utterly turned on by words is important. You can do all the video content you like, all the podcasts in the world, and have a beautiful minimal website.
It’s not enough.
You need to be writing
Despite the incredible range of media available to us today, text is not going anywhere, my friend. Some of us are just wired that way. We crave it.
And you also have to make it good.
This means learning about, investing in and practising copywriting, as well as hiring an editor for a professional sheen.
Lesson 3: It’s more effective to show not tell
What happened on Tinder:
“When I see a heart with two lovers’ names carved into a tree, I think it’s very sweet. And then I stop and ask myself… why are you carrying a knife on a date?!”
This is my favourite Tinder profile byline of all time.
Why?
He’s saying he’s funny, he’s safe, he’s loving and he doesn’t take himself too seriously. Without actually saying he’s funny, he’s safe, he’s loving and he doesn’t take himself too seriously. Therefore, you believe him. Far more than if he’d spelled it out.
(In the interests of research, I verified this for ya. You’re welcome.)
What it means for web writing:
Easy basic copywriting rule, this one.
Show, don’t tell
And it’s easier said than done. You have to be smart about it. Yet not overthink it. How can you portray the real you without being descriptive? What quotes represent you? What images do you identify with? What stories can you tell that paint a picture of who you are?
The secret is becoming a story-teller. By the end, the reader should understand who you are without you listing off all the elements that make you who you are.
And here’s the thing. The more personal, niche, weird, unique or obscure, the better. The right people will get it.
Lesson 4: Holding something back is sexy
What happened on Tinder:
Sure, sometimes guys are looking for a floozy who gives it all away up front.
(Hey, no judgment here.)
And sure, sometimes girls are looking for a no-strings one-nighter too.
Come on. This is Tinder. Let’s keep it real.
In such circumstances, fast open direct dialogue is going to ensue. Blunt might be a better description, in fact. (Communication so blunt that it’s whittled down to a mere three-letter “DTF?” on some occasions. Keep it classy, guys.)
But if you’re not that kinda girl, then call in some restraint.
Because you know what’s super-sexy?
A little bit of mystery.
What it means for web writing:
Hooks are useful. Hooks are impactful. Hooks are what keeps a reader reading. And my favourite hook of all: the cliffhanger.
When you’re writing, tease a little.
Use the art of suspense
Give them just enough that they’re hooked and leave them wanting more.
For blog posts, newsletters and home page copy, the interesting opener followed by a “read more…” is an effective way to get engagement on your site. So long as that hook is strong enough and mysterious enough, you can afford to hold something back.
Now it’s over to you
What writing tricks do you have up your sleeve and where did you learn them? Share them in the comments below.
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